Dear Ants in My Yard,
I would really like to peacefully coexist, but you leave me no choice.Â Listen, I donâ€™t have anything against you as long as you donâ€™t bite me, but you are forcing me to kill many of your kind simply because of where you decide to build your home.Â Those blades on my mower will cut right through you and your home in a nanosecond.Â Something needs to be done.
Whatâ€™s even worse is that when I kill you and rip apart your home, you just move to another location in my yard.Â Not only do you move, but you end up building a bigger house!Â Are you that arrogant and defiant?Â Do you think you will be able to withstand my mowerâ€™s ferocious power the next time around?
Ants, who can I talk to about this?Â Iâ€™m trying to save your lives.Â Is there an ant realtor who can be held responsible for selling you property in a dangerous area?Â Could we announce it on the AEBS (Ant Emergency Broadcast System)?Â Is there an ant internet where we can post warnings?
Everett Bracken,Â Homeowner