I love all the antics of college football mascots as much as anyone. Their comical, oversized features, combined with their carefree attitudes and lots of overzealous cheering and opponent taunting make them a great sideline attraction. However, there are a few colleges out there that have a mascot that just doesn’t quite fit the bill, and I’ll tell you why.
STANFORD - THE TREE
You’re a tree. That’s really all that needs to be said (but, of course I’ll say a little more). No self-respecting mascot should be something so toothless or un-intimidating. Another problem is that the tree portion of the outfit only covers about 3/4 of the mascot’s body. A general rule of thumb is that if you can see the gym shorts or cargo pants and tennis shoes of the person wearing the costume, then you need to re-think the overall design.
KANSAS STATE - WILDCAT
This mascot is just a regular, skinny college student who is wearing a football uniform with no pads. The only differentiating feature between the mascot and the team’s starting punter is the huge wildcat head he wears. This lack of effort is perplexing. I’ve honestly seen more elaborately dressed mascots at a junior high school pep rally. What’s the problem here? K-State can afford to pay their aging head coach over a million dollars a year, but they can’t come up with the extra 125 bucks for a bloated foam midsection and/or a huge pair of comicly oversized pantaloons? I see a philosophical problem with their athletic program’s priorities.
OKLAHOMA STATE - PISTOL PETE
This is not the worst costume in the world, but the head is way too creepy. Come to think about it, it actually looks like something that would freak you out from your great-grandmother’s childhood doll collection. The only redeeming quality is that he has a few 4-foot long pistols to fire at opposing teams as they announce the starting lineups.
Are there any other mascots that upset you for some reason?