A friend recently sent me (Ev) a link to an Amazon product that was so absurd that it elicited thousands of hilarious comments and reviews. It made my morning reading some of them, so I decided to pay if forward and let you in on some Amazon absurdities.
After much searching I present to you: the 5 weirdest products on Amazon.
Wolf Urine Lure – Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts.
Finally! No more anyone bite marks trying to get my own wolf urine! Honestly though, I was a little disappointed with the product. I sprayed it all over my clothing, and instead of repelling animals, I had the neighborhood Alaskan Husky trying to impregnate my leg.
Fun Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser – The Nose Shower Gel Dispenser is a wacky, gross and funny (not to mention practical) addition to any bathroom or shower stall.
I’ve been using snot for year to wash with, but now I can trick myself into thinking I’m still using snot, but it will actually be soap!
Magical Unicorn Mask – Are you a secret unicorn? We’ve found that many people, especially our customers, are secretly unicorns in their hearts – honest, forthright and to tell the truth, a little weird. This mask lets you be the unicorn you know you are! Latex with realistic fur mane. Fits most adult heads.
Of all the fictional animals I’m aware of, the unicorn seems the most “magical” to me, so imagine my excitement when I received the mask as a Christmas present. Whenever I wear it out, people love to get their pictures taken with me, and it causes a lot of people to laugh, point, and stare. It’s great! (I didn’t really get this as a Christmas present, but if you’re already thinking about next year, here’s a hint…)
Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer - Slice an entire banana with one quick motion. Kids love slicing their own bananas. Safer than a knife. Made from dishwasher safe material.
I never wanted to eat bananas until I found this product. Bananas are so long, and I don’t like to eat food that is long, so this has been a life-saver. I could use a knife, but that is dangerous!
(If you have some time to kill, and you want to have a giggle, read some of the comments on this item at the Amazon page.)
Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant – This giant Swiss Army knife from Wenger is designed with an incredible 87 implements that perform 141 functions, making it the only tool you’ll need to get any job done. Whether in your pack or on display, the Giant Knife is sure to be a conversation starter. Packaged in a Black Plastic Box.
Once while ascending Stone Mountain, I was struck with an acute pain in my big toe. Luckily, I was able to pull out my Giant and investigate. I cut off my shoe with the 1.65-inch clip point utility blade. Then, after using the 2.4-inch springless scissors with serrated self-sharpening design to cut off my sock, I discovered that a large 2cm x 2cm blister had formed causing mild redness around the bottom of my toe. I was able to use the double-cut wood saw to cut my foot off, and the blister was no longer an issue. Thanks Swiss Army Knife!
Here are a few of the practical implements (most of which I have no clue as to what they are):
- Chain rivet setter
- 10mm Hexagonal key for nuts
- Cap lifter
- Can opener
- Shoe spike wrench
- Divot repair tool
- Cupped cigar cutter with double honed edges
- 12/20-gauge choke tube tool
- Snap shackle
- Mineral crystal magnifier
- Shortix laboratory key
- Micro scraper, straight
- Micro scraper,curved
- Laser pointer with 300-foot range
- Fine fork for watch spring bars
- Fiber optic tool holder
- Key ring